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posted by bubbletl
1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If Du have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal Von conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4. Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what Du think."

7. Claim that Du must always wear a bicycle helm as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything...
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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that Du are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bett holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say Du know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors Von your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as Du can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep...
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posted by energizerbunny
5. Avril Lavigne

Not a Fan but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.

4. Sophia Bush

She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.

3. Kaya Scodelario

Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!

2. Katie Cassidy

This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.

1. Megan Fox

Not a Fan but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!


Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
posted by Tamar20
Have Du ever wanted to annoy someone so bad that they want to kill you? Then this Artikel is right for you! Hahaha. Du know I've tried most of them and it does work. :P

1. Use potty humor. Announce to them that Du have to go to the bathroom, and that Du think that they should go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while. When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are Du doing okay in there?". To make it even Mehr annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall. When you...
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I was scrolling across deviantART, and came across this HIGHLY shocking news that everyone needs to know about right now!

We all know about copyright infringement and the numerous laws preventing us from using copyrighted material. Some sites and companies take these things very seriously if Du do not have permission from sagte company. But there are sites and companies that's only ask that Du give credit where credit is due. Thankfully like DA.

Now, over the past few days I have just been strolling thru the Internet, visiting some of my fav sites to chill on, and every site has been posting...
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posted by kinga10111
..... Zufällig Facts .....

If Du have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, Du have $1.19. Du also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest Zufällig speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...
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posted by chattycandy
Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

Guys hate flirts.

A guy can like Du for a minute, and then forget Du afterwards.

When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

"Are Du doing something?" oder "Have Du eaten already?" are the first usual Fragen a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

Guys may be flirting around all Tag but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a herz attack. His herz isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first Du don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on feuer with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by x-menobsessed26
Useful Hawaiian Phrases
On the Plane
My how your perfume fills the entire cabin!
'A'ala maoli keia wahi o kakou i kau wai 'ala kuikawa!


If I snore, I would like to apologize in advance
Ke nono au, e kala mua mai, i keia manawa ho'i.


I am filled with admiration for my in-flight meal
Kahaha ko'u na'au i ke 'ano o ka mea 'ai ma keia mokulele.


Only six dollars for a headset? Why thats only three dollars per ear!
Eono kala no ka ho'olohe lekio? 'O ia ho'i, 'ekolu wale no kala o kahi pepeiao!


Baby, Severe Turbulance is my middle name
E ku'u kumu e, mai hopohopo, ua kapa 'ia ko'u inoa waena, 'o ia 'o Severe...
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posted by yukikiyruu
Sleeping Beauty: Perfect for the sleepyheads.
Dolly Wholly: This name is perfect for the well-dressed girl.
Honey Bunny: Ideal for your playful girlfriend.
Cutsie Wootsie: This cute name is excellent to say when Du are pinching her cheeks with both hands.
Pretty Eyes: If your girlfriend has crystal-clear, beautiful eyes, then Du may call her Von this cute name.
Princess: It is a perfect name for your girlfriend, if she has that little girl spirit.
Pumpkin: This name can be used for casual moments.
Doll Face: This name is perfect for a girl with a cute face.
Beautiful: It is a simple but effective...
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posted by happyfreak
A friend of mine has another friend that is addicted to meth. She found this and gave it to her friend. She then gave me a copy because she sagte it was sad and cared enough to let me know what meth is and does.

This poem was written Von a young Indiana girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to Meth. She wrote this while in jail. As Du will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells in this simple, yet profound poem. She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her. They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her...
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posted by cute20k
Do Du have a dirty mind?

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause Du to spit and ask Du not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?







A dentist

2. A finger goes in me. Du fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?






A wedding ring

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?






Peanut butter

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. Du blow me hard . What am I?






Chewing gum

5. All Tag long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?






An elevator

6. I...
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posted by cute20k
Here are the signs:

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells Du a joke and Du say "LOL".

3. Du watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. Du have called out someone's screen name while making Liebe to your significant other.

5. Du keep begging your Friends to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face.

8. Du have to get a 2d phone line just so Du can call pizza Hut.

9. Du go into labour and Du stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're...
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Here with me, I’ve got 99 facts!

Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
Guys hate other flirts.
A guy can like Du for a minute, and then forget Du afterwards.
When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
Are Du doing something?” oder “Have Du eaten already?” are the first usual Fragen a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
Guys may be flirting around all Tag but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
When a guy really likes...
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posted by invadercalliope
Ok today i'm going to tell Du a story!
Mrs.green: Class today is friday and this is your last peried but still doesn't give Du the right to slack off! ARE WE CLEAR!
Class: YES MA'AM!
Cheral:Hi i'm Cheral this is my class i'm in the seventh grade and it's been a fun year!
Tabbi:Hi i'm new in the class i have only been here for a week and it's been fun! my rival here is cheral we sometimes have a fight with umm braging in it it's a never win oder lose fight its one of those that Du hate.
Cheral:Do Du have that one girl that Du don't like naturaly its not that we figght about whose better its that...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a stier, bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize stier, bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact Du to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects...
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posted by 2dolphn97
Ok this is what i do when i like a boy so just saying NOT AN EXPERT!if some of Du do the same thing say so in your comments. if this helps Du guys, GREAT! if anyone has any Fragen most likely i will be Mehr than happy to help ok here it goes.....ps dont make fun of my spelling ok NOW here it goes.....
1)i twirl my hair between my fingers
2)i constantly look at them (corner of my eye not ful-on-makes-you-think-im-a-stalker-chick look)yet when they are talking to me i act shy and look at their shoes
3)i laugh even when they're jokes are stupid
4)i get real nervous when they are around and act...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Gemini.
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Mercury
Symbol: The Twins
Your stone: Aquamarine
Life Pursuit: To explore a little bit of everything.
Vibration: Intense mental energy
Gemini's Secret Desire: To be ahead of the crowd


Description:
In ancient Greek mythology, Gemini's ruler - Mercury, was the light-footed messenger of the gods who darted back and forth across the heavens delivering news - which might explain why those born under the sign of the 'Twins' are always on the move; thirsty for knowledge and new experiences. Terminally curious and sometimes even mischievous, Geminis are...
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posted by cutiegirl01
1. Don't say we are bitches unless u want our brothers to come after u.

2. If we say we Liebe u u better say it back oder u better ente and run.

3. If u hit us trust me when i say u just drove into fuckville.

4. When we ask u to "give us some space" u better get as far as u can.

5. If u cheat on us u may want to hide and stay hiden.

6. *4 middle school kids* If Du want to get serious like in bett serious u have to be jokeing oder high oder SOMETHING!

7. If we say we're pissed off keep the hell out of our way.

8. *keep in mind* never and i mean NEVER say that we need to calm down.

9. *important* NEVER TELL US WHAT TO DO! NEVER!!!

10. Be sure to remind us that we're beautiful because we can be insecure.

11. When we ask if these pants make our butts look big AWAYS SAY NO!!

12. Sometimes we just want to be huged oder some wa to know u Liebe us.
posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. Du have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets Du a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If Du want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if Du are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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