50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store
1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.
2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.
3. Every time Du turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”
4. Go up to the manager and tell him oder her that you’ve Lost your mommy.
5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.
6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.
7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he oder she has anything for body lice.
8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”
9. While arguing with an invisible friend, Du proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.
10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.
11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salat it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.
12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”
13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.
14. Tell the checkout cashier that Du have to hurry, oder your spaceship will leave without you.
15. Tell the checkout bagger that Du knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.
16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.
17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help Du clean the snow from your car.
18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.
19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.
20. Ask a clerk if Du can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.
21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.
22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.
23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”
24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.
25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.
26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.
27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.
28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with Du and activate it every couple of minutes.
29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a Minute ago.
30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.
31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of cracker would go best with it.
32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”
33. If Du see someone offering samples, keep circling like a hai and snatch snacks at each pass.
34. Invite other customers to Mitmachen Du in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.
35. Go up to a dead fisch on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”
36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”
37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.
38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”
39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”
40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told Du to wait in the car!”
41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how Du get the flea to hold still so that Du can put it on him.
42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.
43. Every time Du pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.
44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.
45. As Du pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”
46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”
47. As Du pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.
48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for abendessen as Du go through the store.
49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.
50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.
2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.
3. Every time Du turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”
4. Go up to the manager and tell him oder her that you’ve Lost your mommy.
5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.
6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.
7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he oder she has anything for body lice.
8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”
9. While arguing with an invisible friend, Du proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.
10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.
11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salat it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.
12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”
13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.
14. Tell the checkout cashier that Du have to hurry, oder your spaceship will leave without you.
15. Tell the checkout bagger that Du knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.
16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.
17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help Du clean the snow from your car.
18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.
19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.
20. Ask a clerk if Du can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.
21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.
22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.
23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”
24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.
25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.
26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.
27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.
28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with Du and activate it every couple of minutes.
29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a Minute ago.
30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.
31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of cracker would go best with it.
32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”
33. If Du see someone offering samples, keep circling like a hai and snatch snacks at each pass.
34. Invite other customers to Mitmachen Du in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.
35. Go up to a dead fisch on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”
36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”
37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.
38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”
39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”
40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told Du to wait in the car!”
41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how Du get the flea to hold still so that Du can put it on him.
42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.
43. Every time Du pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.
44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.
45. As Du pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”
46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”
47. As Du pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.
48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for abendessen as Du go through the store.
49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.
50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
Because why not, right?
1. My Favorit foods are dill pickles and potatoes.
2. I do not like coffee. oder tea.
3. I can't think of a joint in my body I don't crack on a daily basis.
4. I Liebe Liebe Liebe Liebe retro advertising, mostly from 80s and down. It makes me feel very nostalgic.
5. I have been dying my hair since I was a young teenager.
6. My Favorit Farben are brown, purple and gray.
7. I consider myself a contrarian.
8. I lived in England for 6 months when I was 4 years old.
9. I suffer from all manner of link.
10. My humor is so dry and sharp, my own parents can't tell when I'm joking or...
continue reading...
1. My Favorit foods are dill pickles and potatoes.
2. I do not like coffee. oder tea.
3. I can't think of a joint in my body I don't crack on a daily basis.
4. I Liebe Liebe Liebe Liebe retro advertising, mostly from 80s and down. It makes me feel very nostalgic.
5. I have been dying my hair since I was a young teenager.
6. My Favorit Farben are brown, purple and gray.
7. I consider myself a contrarian.
8. I lived in England for 6 months when I was 4 years old.
9. I suffer from all manner of link.
10. My humor is so dry and sharp, my own parents can't tell when I'm joking or...
An Imperial landing craft was leaving Coruscant. However, no Imperials were inside. It was only two men from the Republic.
Republic Pilot: *Looking at the clear sky. No other ships are seen as they are out of Coruscant*
Colonel Turner: *Walks up, and sits Weiter to the pilot* Thirty five minutes. Can we make it?
Republic Pilot: We can make it. Will your Friends make it?
Colonel Turner: Let's hope so.
Song: link
John made it back to the shed with Morris, Mary, and Cartwright where Heidi was waiting in the speeder bus.
Heidi: *Puts up a jammer, and turns it on*
John: *Starts the speeder bus,...
Praise Kek!
There is no peace, there is PEPE
There is no fear, there is Shadilay(Peace be upon him).
There is no death, there is God Emperor.
There is no weakness, there is the MEMES.
I am the herz of darkness.
I know no fear.
But rather I instil it in my enemies.
I am the destroyer of worlds.
I know the power of the MEMES.
I am the feuer of hate.
All the universe bows before kek.
I pledge myself to kek.
For I have found true life In the death of SocJus.
Peace is a lie, there is only Kek.
Through passion, I gain salt.
Through Shadilay(Peace be upon him), I gain power.
Through power, I gain Lulz.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The MEMES shall set me free.
Preached Von the Enlightened Prophet known as ''The Turbo Syncretist''. The truth has been spoken! Know
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Praise Kek !!!!
KEK WILLS IT!
