1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When Du sleep over never boss me around in bett unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If Du don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” oder “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If Du want sex, just ask. (In case Du didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only Models are able to wear most of the stuff Du see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes Home and sees Du in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, oder just plain naked.
12. Du don’t need Unterwäsche to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank oben, nach oben are fine Von us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that Du may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true oder not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting Liebe we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. Du shouldn’t be flattered oder grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually Mehr when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach Du not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so dusche with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) Du on oben, nach oben of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay Filme with Du but don’t tell our friends.
30. Du can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports Filme oder “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as Du think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one Mehr girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced Von a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much Mehr attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. Du can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when Du are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of Du it is because we are proud and want to Zeigen Du off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether Du want to do it with the lights on oder off.
42. Whip cream and Schokolade syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing Du will ever do will entitle Du to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be sagte after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play Mehr often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only Sekunde to critiquing our Liebe making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer Fragen we could be castrated.
48. If Du ask us to go shopping Du have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your arsch look fat. Your fat arsch makes your arsch look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.