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1. Go outside, and if Du see someone, take the Zufällig person and make out with him/her, and say: "Yes! I finally got my dramatic Küssen scene!"

2. Lay on your stomach in a puddle and scream: "I'm drowning, I'm drowning!"

3. In the pasanger sitz of the car, roll your window down, stick your tongue out, soaking the driver: "I wonder why Hunde only do this when its sunny out!" and laugh.

4. Make a farting noise, and say "Hear that thunder roar!"

5. When your outside, run around (reading lyrics) and scream words to Singen in the Rain.

6. Make someone laugh. Then look at them: "Gosh, your face is all wet. Suck it up, stop crying!"

7. Sit outside, and read an old book, and keep yelling "DAMN YOU, SKIES! WHY IS IT SO FUCKING WET HERE!" when your pages get soaked.

8. Gather all the family electronics, and lay them out on the gras, grass on the curb, and let them get all wet.

9. When the family sees say: "I told Du that (baby sibling/cousin/hated younng person) was evil!

10. Sit on the corner at the sewer, and hold out an empty can of suppe with a sign on it "Poor, and Wet," and hope Du don't get kidnapped.

11. Tell everyone around Du that rain actually signifies the zombie apocalypse and that the term "acid rain" actually means rain that turns Du into a zombie. Then put your hand outside the door, oder window, and walk like a zombie. (Basically, start a fun/play zombie apocalypse.)

12. Collect all the neighborhood cats/felines and place them outdoors to go insane.

13. Place an empty inflatable pool anywhere outside that Du can, and watch it fill up. Then place your younger sibling/a friend's younger sibling in it and tell them to go swimming.

14. For any cooking that requires water, place the bowl with all other necessary ingredients in it, let the water fill up, and make somebody nasty baking!

15. Go to the local pool, and bang on the doors because Du want them to open, because it's so hot outside and Du need to cool off in the pool.

Also, let me tell Du that these are in no way ethical, oder moral and performing the listed actions Zeigen a lacking in propriety and maturity. There's no reason to do any of these; they're just immature tactics to LAUGH at. Not attempt.
Have a nice day!
posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All Du Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's herz is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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added by aromate
added by fatoshleo
Source: @fatoshleo
added by ilovekud
Source: ilovekud
posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him Du met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do Du listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him Von his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your Favorit guy[If Du hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson oder some who Du like ALLOT!]

9. Come Home saying Du found your true...
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i didn't write this

1. Totally Ignore the first five people who say "Good Morning" to you.

2. Phone someone in the office Du barely know, leave your name and say, "just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".

3. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

4. When someone hands Du a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "mmmmmm, that feels soooo good!"

5. Leave your fly's open for one hour. If anyone points it out say, "Sorry I really prefer it this way, it lets the smell out".

6. In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out YAHTZEE".

7....
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GET READY TO GET ANNOYED...ALL METHODS FOOL PROOFED Von YOURS TRULY!! :)
ANNOYING THINGS 2 DO UR FRNDS!
1. Keep poking them until they scream in annoyance
2. Pull an Annoying orange on them. Keep saying, "Hey,(insert name) (insert name)," as long as Du want. Really effective!
3. Keep shouting swear words randomly. Like shout out, "Shit!" when they're eating pizza oder something. :)
4. Sneeze, HARD, whenever they're around. Continue again and again and again and again and again!
5. Keep repeating, "What? What? What?" whenever they ask a question.
6. Keep calling them ELEGANT names, like if you're friend...
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posted by NatalieSunshine
1.Run with her on the beach.
2.Give her your sweater when she’s cold.
3.Never talk about other girls infront of her.
4.Learn to play the gitarre for her.
5.Comfort her when she’s scared.
6.Watch the sunset with her.
7.If she can’t sleep read her a bedtime story.
8.If Du get in a fight with her and she starts crying,just stop and hold her.
9.Never force her to do anything.
10.Call her beautifull,especially when she least expects it.
11.Never let her walk alone.
12.Play with her hair when she’s laying on your chest.
13.Always make the first move.
14.Never lie to her she’ll find out.
15.Kiss her when...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by CatAlicerox14
1. find cereal boxes with prizes in them and open the box and stuff the toys in your pockets and hand bag oder what ever Du can stuff.if caught simply say "these have been recalled as kids are prone to sneezing"
2. Follow the stock person in the vegtables and Obst aisles and ask every Minute "watcha doing?"
3. Ask the stock person as he put one item in "is that ripe? oder rotten?"
4.if they have a toy aisle open toys (no matter what age Du are) and play with them (if squirt gun go to bathroom and fill it up with water and squirt people)
5.go inside the bathroom and sing everytime someone comes in....
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1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

2. get your sister oder brother a drink put pepper in it....

3. play all your Musik really load

4. blackmail them O.o

5. act like a cow.

6. lick them O.o

7. give them a brot sandwich

8. set their alrm for two in the morning

9. bite them

10. flush the toilet when their in the shower

11. ding ding ditch their room

12. eat their food

13. be right in their face when they wake up

14 sit on them

15. put your cat oder dog on their face see if the animal farts in their face XD
added by PoddoChan
Source: F0rg0tz :P
added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr.
posted by My8thUsername
A/N:Okay, I have seen a lot of these around, so I decided to look through through all of them an make my own Liste of oben, nach oben Five 'Roses Are Red' Poems. Just cause I wanted to. Basically, everything I do is 'just cause I want to'. Except homework.

5.A/N:Best disclaimer EVER! Well, one of them...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Me no own
So Du no sue

4."Roses are red, violets are blue."
That's what they say, but it just isn't true.
Roses are red, and apples are too,
But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue.
An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green
And pinkies aren't pink. So what does it mean?...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started Schreiben it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if Du don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest Du don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your Friends and either forget all about us oder tell a story about the hideous freak Du met tonight. Du don’t know me, if Du did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have Friends - except my brother....
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Hello I'm NOT the nostalgia critic, I remembered it so Du don't have to. I've been watching NC's biggest dumba** in distress video and I thought I'd do one. Except for me it's only going to be characters that are animated and it's not only going to be female characters, there are some male characters here too. With other characters I can find at least some aspect of heroics in them except for these characters. Please keep in mind that this is just my opinion and I don't hate all of these characters. Please comments, enjoy.

10.Esmeralda(The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

I promise I'm not being...
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When you're happy and Du know it bomb Iraq
If Du cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If Du never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If Du think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb...
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FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for Essen
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason Du have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents Von their first names.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail Du out of jail and tell Du what Du did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sittin Weiter to Du sayin "Dang...... that was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen Du cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about...
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Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If Du can't drink and drive, why do Du need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do Du need a silencer if Du are going to shoot a mime?

Have Du ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11...
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posted by karpach_14
Bored? Need something to spice up your day? Why not annoy the living shit out of someone Du love? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Go to the library. Every 15 minutes, go up to the same guy and joke, "Working hard oder hardly working?"

2. At the dentist, start screaming as soon as Du open your mouth.

3. Stand in front of the TV while your dad is watching a big game.

4. Every 30 Minuten oder so, call your friend who is babysitting and breathe into the phone.

5. Scrape your ring oder your nails on the blackboard Weiter time you're asked to do a problem at the board.

6. Weiter konzert Du go to, yell out "Mmmbop!"...
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