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Du like my story!??!?!?!??!

This is how I ship my-self with Mello so if that much turns Du off then don't read it XD

It was like when he was joining the Mafia we'd been there for about a Monat and one day, I told the guys to clean up (since I'm a girl and don't like mess). And there were like "What did Du say?" So i told them i was tired of cleaning up after them all the time. So the leader was all like "I'd like to hear Du say that again," and kept coming closer to me till I was backed up on a wall. Then I was just standing there too scared to say anything, so he put his hand under my chin to force me to look at him and was like "What's wrong? Cat gotcher tongue." and he dragged me into the Weiter room and pushed me on the bett and tried to rape me. So Mello heard me fighting and heard bumping sounds (which was me kicking and him falling off of me) so he ran into the room and fought them off for me and told them "leave her alone if Du want some so bad go out and buy it oder he'd kill all of them" so he grabbed me Von my wrist and pulled me to his room and threw me at the Wand grabbed my shoulders and was like "What's wrong with you?! How could Du let that happen?!" and I started to cry I was so scared. I Mehr afraid of him being mad at me than being raped. So I sagte "I'm sorry, I was trying to fight them off but there were too many." and I looked up, and his eyes got softer. We were just staring at each other for a while then he kissed the tears away from my face one at a time. Then I put my hands on the back of his neck and kissed him and we both slid down to the floor.And after we realized what we were doing we stopped and just stood there for a while looking at each other then he got up and went to the bathroom surprised at what he did. I waited for him to come out but he didn't so I went to his bett and fell asleep.

All done.
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*myself *. *We'd *they *I *I *against a Wand *, *got your tongue that's some. XD
wantadog posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Thank you. XD
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
 amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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trainofdoom82 said:
This is fucking terrible

Just saying.

Self inserts are bad enough, but I'm not judging the Schreiben based on the pairing, the style, tone, dialogue, grammar is just terrible.

No. Just no.


Du need to try harder.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Agreed
dragonchick posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
xFluttershyx said:
:)
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 :)
posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Did Du read it?
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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No.
xFluttershyx posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Omg XD
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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XD
xFluttershyx posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
mmmpienomnomnom said:
too many words, aru! DX
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Noooooooooooooooo please it's good! People who read it sagte so!
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
Panda-Hero said:
I already told you, it'rs pretty sweet.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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and I mean sweet as in awww
Panda-Hero posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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See Du like it! They refuse to read it! I typed it all up and no one wants to read it!
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Well,you can't FORCE them to read it.Anyway,I think it's alright.Just improve the grammar a bit.:)
90sfan posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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^She wasn't forcing, she was asking. Forcing would be 'READ THIS oder I KILL MY SISTER'
Panda-Hero posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
emimc said:
Awwwwwww, so sweet. Luv da story!
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Yay. Thank Du :D
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
wantadog said:
That's kinda cool. I'm not much of a DN Fan though...
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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Thank Du And what no grammar naziism(s) XD
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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LOL if Du want XD
wantadog posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Take it away! I know one thing though, almoth all those sentences started with "and".
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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LOL I usually discount that one
wantadog posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
TotalDramaDoll6 said:
u should do a part 2! exept no rape. i personaly think it would be better without rape. but its sweet how he rescued u :D
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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XD No rape! Du make it sould funny. And thanks.!
amzel posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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thx :)
TotalDramaDoll6 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
XxKeithHarkinxX said:
TL;DR

._.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
egyptprincess7 said:
*Blinks* It's okay.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
hgfan5602 said:
Rape's not for me.
Besides, Du should post your stuff on True Writers.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
BlindBandit92 said:
Um yeah I am not gonna read a story based on Du shipping yourself with Mello. Yeah no.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
ScaryCatfish said:
Eh.. Try a bit harder, mate. I'm assuming Du like Death Note too. L is my Favorit character.
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posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr 
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