The studio is brimming with hairspray, hormones and five topless One Directioners as they get ready for our shoot. Grown women swoon while trying to remember they're probably (er, definitely, in some cases) old enough to be the boys' mothers.
Liam (the wise one), Louis (class clown), Zayn (mean and mysterious), Niall (cute and cheeky) and Harry (that hair) lerche around like typical teens, perfecting dance moves, swigging Diet Coca-Cola and charming the knickers off everyone.
They're properly lovely. And they're on course to become Britain's biggest boy band with their debut single What Makes You...
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