This is the letter Carter wrote Abby when he was in the Congo. I found it on NBC's website, and thought I'd share it with you! Enjoy!
Von the time Du read this letter, Luka should be safe, sicher in America and Du will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before Du go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if Du could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe Du will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, Du know? When I think back on our last Jahr together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that Du don't.
You're much stronger than Du think. Du don't need me, Abby, and I don't think Du ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point Du convinced yourself that I was the right guy for Du - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what Du really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what Du expected, and Du didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave Du as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were Mehr important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any Mehr kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. Du are still one of the most amazing people I know.