EAT SHIT AND DIEEEEEEEEEE X'D

CHAPTER THREE!
You’re a part of my entity, here for infinity!


G: Whaaat did shee saaaaay (8)
S: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
G: RAT????????
S:YES! YOU!
G: What?
S: This song again? Are Du trying to kill me?
G: Oh my God. I forgot it’s on the black list.
S: Remind me to get Du a memory someday.
G: Whatever. Du know Du Liebe my voice.
S: Who told Du that again?
G: You. Remember when you…
S: …when I was drunk!
G: WHORE!
S: SLUT!
Tool: What is going on?
S&G: WHAT?
Tool: Why are Du two arguing?
S: We’re not.
Tool: The whole block has heard you.
G: Did Du hear anything? *looking at S*
S: Nope. And...

Ways to be truly offensive at a funeral...

Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make Liebe with you.

Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until Du find your contact lens.

Punch the body and tell people that he hit Du first.

Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.

Ask someone to take a snapshot of Du shaking hands with the deceased.

At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.

Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.

Ask the widow to give Du a kiss.

Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.

Tell the...

lmao! Just got this 5 Minuten ago. Enjoy!

God works in mysterious ways

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be Friends and live in peace for the rest of our days'.

Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes,...