Without him I felt incomplete...
I had a beautiful childhood but after that time when the secondary school started, everything should be different. I knew right away I didn't belong to the school for the most intelligent Germans. Not that I wasn't intelligent, I just didn't like the school and how arrogant everybody was, how much better than the others everyone wanted to be. My family got quite poor all of a sudden. I had every toy I wanted as a kid and then... I could call myself happy for having at least five different pairs of jeans. At the new school they called me "daydreamer" since I was romantic, shy and always a little distracted in my world of thoughts. I always heard them talking badly about me and my pale skin and also about the fact that I wore cheap clothes. They fooled me very often, talked to me as if I was stupid, followed me after school parties and threw things at me. And when I first fell for a guy at my school he only sagte in front of everyone that I would look like a garbage can and laugh like a pig. On that Tag even my former best friend put "Kick Me" papers on my back and I started crying. I had many of these depressing days and that didn't change when I had contact lenses and fell for another guy who came into my class. He liked my best friend and she liked him, so I was talking about suicide in front of my parents. I felt like nobody really understood me, like I had no real friends. I was only fooled Von everyone. I had overreacting times when I had arguments with my best friend I screamed and cried outside in front of everyone on the street. Cause I was just too jealous she liked that guy so much. But I got to feel better again too. Until I met a guy on the internet the same time I met my future boyfriend but we were only Friends at the beginning. Well yeah but before I should fall for the Liebe of my life I fell for another guy. He only fooled me and I did many things that I know regret doing. My marks at school got worse because I stayed up so long in front of the computer cause of the time difference. And then all of a sudden everything that seemed so great to me should change. The guy told me he still had feelings for his ex. I broke down, totally overreacted Von trying to be there for him but at the same time thinking and talking about suicide. I wrote a poem about it "My Black Life" on Fanpop and the most amazing person ever read it. It made him cry and he started talking to me Mehr than he had before. It was user leuron, Mário, from Portugal. His best friend Sephisis17, Vitor dedicated a poem to me. We became better Friends and they always kept me alive when I felt like dying. Until that day... The guy who left me took me back because of sympathy and some days later he told me that he doesn't Liebe me. There was noone I could talk to, late at night, I didn't have Mário and Vitor to tell them my troubles, specially Mário would have helped. He always had an Guter Rat for me even when I was the most annoying talking about that guy very often. But I had noone. So I went into the küche took my mom's sleeping pills and finally tried to kill myself. Only because I dropped my cellphone in the hall my mom woke early enough to call the hospital. All that drama I made to hurt that guy in the end only hurt myself, my family and my friends. One of them was Mário. When I came back from the hospital he was the first one I talked to about what happened. It made him sad and I could talk to him pretty well about all the things. We had trouble with the police and psychologists now. I didn't want a psychologist, not at all. I knew they wouldn't be able to help me but my parents really wanted to force me to. Then my ex took me back again, though I didn't want it. I was hurt but still I was too obsessed with him to say "No". Until he left me for another girl who was not his ex-girlfriend. I broke down again, talked about suicide, but this time I had Mário and Vitor to talk to, they both helped me getting away from these thoughts. But I became a bad person. I tried to find a new boyfriend desperately cause I wanted to know if I was still loved Von guys, if people could still Liebe me. I fooled many of them and I even sagte "I Liebe you" to a guy though I didn't feel it at all. I felt sorry for him and the others and just decided to stay alone. Just thought I could never be able to Liebe again. Then I first saw pictures of Mário and thought about his inner beauty and what he looked like in combination. It was an amazingly great mix. He always seemed so wise to me. I realized that I have always loved him. Everytime I talked to him I enjoyed it so much, felt happy and relaxed. He calmed me. When I was finally Merida - Legende der Highlands enough to tell him that I Liebe him the most amazing time of my life should start. Loving an Angel – Jäger der Finsternis and being loved Von him in return saved and healed my herz which has been a black hole that time. Now Mário, my life has a meaning. I am able to Liebe again. And I Liebe Du Mehr than anyone I loved before <33 since we met personally this feeling even grows. Happy three months, once again, my Angel – Jäger der Finsternis *-*
But now it's just amazing *-*
