(In a store)

Jareth: How much are these delightful edible crystals?
Cashier: (rolling eyes) they're rock Süßigkeiten sir and a dollar fifty.

(Clothes shopping in the mall)

Jareth: (goes up to employee with pair of leggings) excuse me.

Cashier: (looks up) what can I help Du with today?

Jareth: (holding up leggings) do Du have these in men's?

Cashier: (weirded out) yeah...ummm...no.

(At job interview for daycare)

Interviewer: have Du had any experience with kids before?

Jareth: yes indeed, Du see when unwanted children are wished away to the underground. I simply take them to my schloss in the goblin city where they become goblins and continue to serve me.

Interviewer: I see...and what do Du like to do in your spare time?

Jareth: I like to gaze into my crystal balls, kick and tease my goblin minions and tralala through my thron room Singen dance magic dance.

Interviewer: (weirded out) ok we'll call Du letting Du know if Du got the job.

(Jareth leaves)

(Interviewer chucks jareth's job application in the trash)

Interviewer: Well he certainly didn't want that job...

(Jareth backs out of Cumberland farms parking lot)

(Gets rear ended)

(Both owners get out of cars to inspect damage)

Owner of other car: oh my god Im so sor---

Jareth: damn Du peasant I shall throw Du into the bog of eternal stench before Du can blink!

(Jareth goes up to an attractive woman at a bar)

woman: Hey sexy.

Jareth: I ask for so little, just let me rule Du and Du can have everything that Du want.

Woman: excuse me?

Jareth: just fear me, Liebe me do as I say and I will be your slave.

(Woman smacks him upside the head)

Woman: get away from me Du jerk!

(Walks out of bar)

(Jareth devastated turns into an owl and flies away)