Rox (coughing): Oh, hey. You came for the story? Yeah, I hear ya. If you like stories full of misery and apathy-


Rox starts to sound a bit sarcastic.



Rox: -then COME ON DOWN!



A thunderstorm rages outside her bedroom window.



Rox: So, it was a bright and cheery day. (pauses) On Earth, anyway. Tallest Red called me up to tell me my life story. He raised me a bit, and so did some Tallests-in-Training, Silver, and Rainbow. Anyway, Planet Irk was a small, empty planet, with most Irkens out on secret invasions. A cold, unfeeling set of robotic arms-


Zim: Oh, hello. I guess you were here to learn of MY life story...


Dib: Zim, SHUT UP! Nobody cares.



Gaz: Everyone, quiet! I'm about to beat the boss!


Gaz jerks the Wii controller.



Gaz: YES! I win!



Rox: GAZ! Pay attention!



She snatches the controller and Nunchuk set away. Gaz, meanwhile, grabs a spare controller and resets the game.



Dib: Where did you get that spare controller?!?



Zim: I gave it to her to shut her up!




Rox (screaming): GUYS!!!!! (normal voice) I need to tell the story.



She hits the PLAY button on Windows Media Player and a sad song drones on.



Rox: So, a set of cold, unfeeling robotic arms began to fuse two sets of female Irken DNA. Faster, and faster, the DNA began to fill my body, giving me personality, and my cute antennae.



Dib: Whose DNA?



Rox: Tallest Miyuki, a now-dead Tallest, and Tak. She was also an Irken baby around the time I was created. But, the machine began to sputter. It clattered and shook. Then, it glitched a bit, but burst into flames. My body was immediately on fire.



A tear runs down Gaz's face.





Rox: But, luckily, Red had a method of putting out Irken fires. Instead of water because it destroys most Irkens, he used the official Irken substitute to water, H Two Oh, a solid water-like substance that tastes sort of like French fries and grape gelatin mixed together. It works epically for putting out fires.


Zim: And thus, a freak was born.



Rox growls psychotically.



Zim whines a bit, scared of Rox.




Rox: As soon as I received my yellow robes and PAK, I learned to talk. I exploded in a furious rage. "I WILL RULE THE WORLD!" I proclaimed. Then I fainted, weak and nimble.




(PART 2 COMING SOON!)