Chapter 16: Don't Deserve This
{Tim's POV}
It's hard for a parent to accept their child is growing up. I try and come to terms with it, as my boys get older. However, now, watching Randy sleeping like he is, he looks so much like the little boy he once was. I brush some of his hair off his face, and he doesn't Bewegen at all. His breathing is deep and labored, but his eyes twitch slightly under their closed lids. I had gone Home with the boys and found a message on the machine from Jill that sagte I needed to come right to the hospital. I study the IV that enters his hand and flinch at the slight bruise that seemed to fray around the edge of the tape.
"He looks bad." Brad Kommentare from my elbow. I jump, forgetting he was in the room with me.
"Their running tests to see what's going on." I reply, Brad nods and settles into a chair nearby.
"He's going to feel bad about leaving the game Du know." I glance at my oldest son who has taken to studying his hands. "He won't just brush it off, its gonna bother him." I don't know how to answer him, so I simply change my gaze to Randy. He shifts in his sleep and I sigh.
"Your mom is gonna take Du and Mark Home in a little while." I finally say, thinking of nothing else.
"Are Du staying here with Randy?"
"Yeah." Brad nods and its then the doctor walks in, Jill and Mark on his heels.
"Hello." There's something in his voice....I stiffen and Jill comes to stand at my side. Mark hovers in the doorway.
"How is he?" Jill asks and I put my arm around her.
"Please, have a seat." Du know that feeling of unease Du can get right before Du find out something really bad? A big block of that just fell into the pit of my stomach. I glance uneasily at Jill, her eyes wide with alarm.
"Randy isn't responding to the chemotherapy the way we would like." He begins.
"What's that mean?" Jill demands.
"I'm sorry, he's just not getting any better." I never thought they're could be sheer silence, but at that moment, I couldn't hear a thing, not even Randy's labored breathing oder the beeps of machines. Not a sound. I shook my head violently, causing my deafness to dissolve and turned panicked eyes to the doctor.
"What are Du going to do?" Brad asks, once again making his presence known to the others in the room.
"There really isn't anything Mehr I can do." He says sadly, watching us with sympathetic eyes. "We can just make him as comfortable as we can."
"He's going to die." Mark's voice is so dull and void of emotion I'm startled into looking in his direction.
"I'm sorry. If Du have any further Fragen I'd be glad to answer them." Jill immediately launches into questions, several all at once. I'm, for once in my life, absolutely speechless. My eyes fell away from the doctor who just sagte what I never believed I would hear. My gaze fixes on my son. He's still sleeping. Does he know? Could he have known? I watch his chest rise and fall, and how young he looks sleeping. No parent should outlive their child. This can't be happening to us. He doesn't deserve this. We don't deserve this. I hear Jill's broken sobs and absently pull her to me. I glance to the rest of my family. Brad has gone positively translucent, his eyes anguished. He stares at the wall, but his eyes are empty of sight.. Mark is gone, where he's gone to, I'm not sure, but Mark's always been a little Mehr sensitive than the other two boys. The doctor apologizes to us one last time and quietly slips away.
"I should call Al." I murmur absently. Jill releases me and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Brad suddenly snaps out of his stupor and sinks into a chair Von Randy's bedside. I squeeze Jill's hand reassuringly, though I have no assurance myself. I slowly walk from the room and towards the pay phones. I quickly deposit the money and dial Al's number. I get the machine.
"Hi Al, its Tim....I need Du to do Tool Time solo for a while," My voice cracked. "I'll call Du later." And hung up before I have to fight my tears back down. This isn't fair. We don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this. I shouldn't have to lose my son to a sickness that struck suddenly and without warning. I shouldn't have to outlive my child. My mind completely shuts down on me then. Tears burst vorwärts-, nach vorn before I can stop them and I sink into the nearest chair. Head in hands, I cry harder than I've ever cried before. Moment's later, Jill is Von my side, and we cry together.
End of Ch16
{Tim's POV}
It's hard for a parent to accept their child is growing up. I try and come to terms with it, as my boys get older. However, now, watching Randy sleeping like he is, he looks so much like the little boy he once was. I brush some of his hair off his face, and he doesn't Bewegen at all. His breathing is deep and labored, but his eyes twitch slightly under their closed lids. I had gone Home with the boys and found a message on the machine from Jill that sagte I needed to come right to the hospital. I study the IV that enters his hand and flinch at the slight bruise that seemed to fray around the edge of the tape.
"He looks bad." Brad Kommentare from my elbow. I jump, forgetting he was in the room with me.
"Their running tests to see what's going on." I reply, Brad nods and settles into a chair nearby.
"He's going to feel bad about leaving the game Du know." I glance at my oldest son who has taken to studying his hands. "He won't just brush it off, its gonna bother him." I don't know how to answer him, so I simply change my gaze to Randy. He shifts in his sleep and I sigh.
"Your mom is gonna take Du and Mark Home in a little while." I finally say, thinking of nothing else.
"Are Du staying here with Randy?"
"Yeah." Brad nods and its then the doctor walks in, Jill and Mark on his heels.
"Hello." There's something in his voice....I stiffen and Jill comes to stand at my side. Mark hovers in the doorway.
"How is he?" Jill asks and I put my arm around her.
"Please, have a seat." Du know that feeling of unease Du can get right before Du find out something really bad? A big block of that just fell into the pit of my stomach. I glance uneasily at Jill, her eyes wide with alarm.
"Randy isn't responding to the chemotherapy the way we would like." He begins.
"What's that mean?" Jill demands.
"I'm sorry, he's just not getting any better." I never thought they're could be sheer silence, but at that moment, I couldn't hear a thing, not even Randy's labored breathing oder the beeps of machines. Not a sound. I shook my head violently, causing my deafness to dissolve and turned panicked eyes to the doctor.
"What are Du going to do?" Brad asks, once again making his presence known to the others in the room.
"There really isn't anything Mehr I can do." He says sadly, watching us with sympathetic eyes. "We can just make him as comfortable as we can."
"He's going to die." Mark's voice is so dull and void of emotion I'm startled into looking in his direction.
"I'm sorry. If Du have any further Fragen I'd be glad to answer them." Jill immediately launches into questions, several all at once. I'm, for once in my life, absolutely speechless. My eyes fell away from the doctor who just sagte what I never believed I would hear. My gaze fixes on my son. He's still sleeping. Does he know? Could he have known? I watch his chest rise and fall, and how young he looks sleeping. No parent should outlive their child. This can't be happening to us. He doesn't deserve this. We don't deserve this. I hear Jill's broken sobs and absently pull her to me. I glance to the rest of my family. Brad has gone positively translucent, his eyes anguished. He stares at the wall, but his eyes are empty of sight.. Mark is gone, where he's gone to, I'm not sure, but Mark's always been a little Mehr sensitive than the other two boys. The doctor apologizes to us one last time and quietly slips away.
"I should call Al." I murmur absently. Jill releases me and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. Brad suddenly snaps out of his stupor and sinks into a chair Von Randy's bedside. I squeeze Jill's hand reassuringly, though I have no assurance myself. I slowly walk from the room and towards the pay phones. I quickly deposit the money and dial Al's number. I get the machine.
"Hi Al, its Tim....I need Du to do Tool Time solo for a while," My voice cracked. "I'll call Du later." And hung up before I have to fight my tears back down. This isn't fair. We don't deserve this. He doesn't deserve this. I shouldn't have to lose my son to a sickness that struck suddenly and without warning. I shouldn't have to outlive my child. My mind completely shuts down on me then. Tears burst vorwärts-, nach vorn before I can stop them and I sink into the nearest chair. Head in hands, I cry harder than I've ever cried before. Moment's later, Jill is Von my side, and we cry together.
End of Ch16