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Fan fiction by e2mma2weasle3 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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10 Ways to Annoy Bellatrix Lestrange

1) Suggest that Voldemort thinks that Pettigrew is a Mehr capable Death Eater than she is.
2) Send apparitions of the Longbottoms after her, never letting her rest.
3) Post Harry Potter Fan type things all over her Azkaban cell.
4) Keep bringing up her sister, Andromeda, in conversation.
5) Keep bringing up Tonks in conversation.
6) Impersonate Voldemort and make her believe that he’s into peace with Muggles.
7) Cut off her hair and dye what’s left orange; Du can tell her that her appearance improves with the “Annie Lennox” look.
8) “Confiscate” her wand; say it’s a Ministry decree and that she has to spend six weeks in the Muggle world/
9) Curse Voldemort in front of her
10) Poke several Mimbulus Mimbletonias while she’s around and then dramatically say, “The revenge of Neville has come!”

10 Ways to Annoy Snape

1. Give him a bottle of Head & Shoulders for Christmas.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Tell him Hermione has a boyfriend.

2. Repeatedly ask him whatever happened to "Lav-Lav"?

3. Tell him Krum is coming back.

4. Stare pointedly at his forehead, looking bewildered.

5. . . . And when he asks what you’re looking at, say in a disappointed voice, “I just thought you’d have a scar too, being Harry Potter’s (sigh adoringly then look superior) sidekick and all.”

6. Tell him that Krum is having a welcome back party and everyone is invited.

7. . . . Except him, that is.

8. The Weiter time someone says “Ron”, state loudly, “Isn’t that the name of Harry Potter’s useless sidekick? oder maybe it’s Ronan. I can never remember.”

9. Run up to Harry Potter and scream “Ohmigod it’s Harry Potter!” then beg for his autograph, and when he’s giving it to Du say to Ron “Hi . . . Du must be . . . um . . . Harry’s, er, associate!”

10. Tell him the Chudley Cannons have asked Harry to Mitmachen their team as soon as he leaves school.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate Weiter to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. . . . Enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him Du stahl, stola his teddy bear.

8. Tell him Du won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him Du were just kidding and sagte teddy bär has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak up on him while he's asleep and give him a mohawk.

11. Sneak up on him while he's asleep and write "Crazy!" all over his face in permanent ink.

12. Sneak up on him when he's asleep and wash his hair.

13. Send him repeated invitations to a makeover party - which emphasis on facials, shampooing, and hair-braiding. ("But you'll look so pretty!")
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. In casual conversation, constantly ask: "Now what was the name of that kid with the scar again?"

2. Anytime they bring up the books, close your ears and sing loudly - then tell them they're spoiling it for Du (even if Du have no intention of Lesen them).

3. Ask what "HP" stands for.

4. When they begin to theorize, bluntly say "I think Harry is in cahoots with Voldemort and it's all just a huge publicity stunt."

5. Tell them Du think the Filme are better than the books.

6. Suggest they read the Bücher on SparkNotes, because it's a lot faster.

7. Destroy any and all of their delusions that magic really exists and that they'll someday find Hogwarts.

8. Point and laugh unnecessarily loudly when they tell Du how many times they've read each book.

9. Any time they mention JK Rowling, mention that Du think she should just retire immediately.

10. Steal their wizard robes.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Offer him erdnuss butter fondant, fudge that Du cooked yourself, and tell him that Du named it Cornelius fondant, fudge because it’s "nutty." Make sure it’s sticky and overdone.

2. Tell him that limette, lime green isn’t really his color, and that he’s really Mehr of a winter.

3. Offer to take him to the mall to buy him some new clothes in different, Mehr flattering colors.

4. Try to get him to Mitmachen a conga line with Du and Voldemort and look very hurt if he refuses.

5. Tell him that "Scrimgeour always seemed like so much Mehr of an authoritative figure."

6. Make up a theme song for him to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and sing it wherever he goes.

7. Make up flyers containing the printed version of the theme song and hand it out to important Ministry officials.

8. Try to get him to Mitmachen S.P.E.W., because "elves are people too!"

9. Paint a scar on your forehead and hop around singing, "We were telling the truth! We were telling the truth!" in an annoying, high pitched voice.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Ask him to tell Cedric Du sagte hello.

2. Follow him around and say "Voldemort is your uncle!" in a loud voice right Weiter to his ear.

3. Ask him if the "anvil-sized hints" ever hit him on the head, which is really what caused the scar.

4. "So . . . first Du were the Boy Who Lived . . . then Du were a nutcase . . . now you're The Chosen One. Why don't they just add it together so that you're the "Chosen Nutcase Who Lived?"

5. Offer him stolen silver from Sirius Black's house.

6. Make sure Du tell him Du got it from Mundungus Fletcher.

7. Tell him that he should stop pretending to be Harry Potter and to wipe the fake scar off his head.

8. Follow him around wearing shirts that say, "I'M WITH THE CHOSEN ONE!"

9. Buy him one that says, "THEY'RE WITH THE CHOSEN ONE!" and get really offended when he doesn't wear it. Be sure to tell him Du made it yourself.

10. Ask if he knows whether Voldemort had any scars and if so, where are they?
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they jinx you. Wait for the effects of the 'jinx' to wear off, smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if Du can push the button for other people, but intentionally push the wrong ones.

4. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your Tag been?"

5. Drop a quill and wait until someone goes to pick it up and then scream, "That's mine!"

6. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

7. Bewegen your schreibtisch into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on ask if they have an appointment.

8. Lay down a Muggle Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

9. Randomly ask "Did Du feel that?" When they look at Du curiously, begin to explain your theory that a troll has made its way into the building, become Mehr panicked Von the minute.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Du tell everyone they're your distant cousins.

2. You've written Mehr letters to them than Du can count.

3. Instead of asking WWJD (What would Jesus do?) Du ask WWERDD (What would Emma, Rupert and Dan do?).

4. Du have a not-so-secret shrine to one and/or all three members of the trio in your closet.

5. Du have Mehr pictures of them than Du do of your own family.

6. Du were sleeping in Leicester Square three days before the premiere. Ditto in London. Ditto in France.

7. Du can no longer attend the premieres due to a restraining order.

8. Your room would scare even the biggest Harry Potter fans.

9. Du don't consider news important unless it involves one of the trio.

10. People think Du suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder because they constantly hear Du referring to "Dan," "Emma," and "Rupert."

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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Greetings, new follower:


If Du are Lesen this letter then Du have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If Von some unprecedented chance Du are Lesen this and Du have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest Du put down this letter and leave now, oder the consequences for Du will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.


Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which Du must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).


The Weiter meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. "What did I ever do to y- oh, nevermind."

2. "Oh, ha ha, Du got me! Am I on Punk'd? Where's the camera guy, huh? Where!?"

3. "Wow, you're even dumber than Du look, and that's saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they're about to do?! I'm ready for Du now!" *Prepare yourself Von getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*

4. "And she's all 'F.Y.I., he's so into me and not you.' and I'm all 'Yeah, right, whatever.' Oh, I'm sorry! Did Du say something?"

5. "Why do Du have to be so mean?!" *produce fake tears and throw a tantrum*

6. "Uh, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!!!" *take off running*

7. *cackle with laughter* "You sound like a girl! Hey honey, come listen to this guy talk!"

8. "My dear snake-man, I must say your manners are quite poor. I have just the thing!" *put on record and sing along* 'Please - say - please - and - thank Du for saying thank you!'
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Du need to stop Lesen HBP when Du . . .


1. Are still wearing black in mourning.

2. Ask your parents if the death of anyone Du know is listed in the Obituary.

3. . . . Don't explain yourself when they ask who died.

4. Repeatedly Berichten to the police that Du know where Snape is hiding.

5. Keep repeating under your breath "the locket . . . the cup . . . the snake . . . something of Gryffindor oder Ravenclaw's . . ."

6. Practice nonverbal spells.

7. Draw an extremely detailed Marauder's Map and obsessively check it to see where Malfoy is.

8. Try to Apparate and insist that Du just need to get the hang of it.

9. . . . Mutter the "three D's" under your breath while Du practice.

10. Kommentar to people that Du enjoyed Dumbledore's Army because it was like having friends.

11. Randomly yell, "He will only be gone from the school when none here are loyal to him!" during class.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Choreograph an artistic dance interpretation of his life and struggle for power and then force him to watch it.

2. Conduct a séance and pretend to channel the spirit of his mother.

3. Tell him he's been a "naughty boy."

4. Pretend to be the Sorting Hat and apologize - apparently Du were wrong, and he was meant to be in Hufflepuff.

5. Call him Ickle-Voldykins . . . and then run. Fast.

6. Ask him to guess which hand the last Horcrux is in.

7. . . . Admonish him for cheating if he uses Legilimency.

8. Tell him Du know where Harry is hiding, and Apparate before providing further details.

9. Dress up as Dumbledore and say Du faked your own death.

10. Start an argument about Harry Potter shipping.

11. Tell him he's adopted and that he's really Hagrid's other half-brother.

12. Tell him Harry is his son and ask him if he's sure he wants to go through with Book 7 now, since it's become "soooo star, sterne Wars."
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter Bücher and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from Du (Example: When in a car oder an elevator). If Du don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Weihnachten and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their Favorit song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their Posteingang with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.

9. Start Singen a Sorting Hat song at Zufällig moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.

10. Make them play Quidditch with you.

11. Give all of their Friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Du mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

Du call your least Favorit teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and Du run outside looking for an owl.

Du actually ask for a besen for Christmas.

Du mutter "lumos" under your breath every time Du turn on a flashlight.

Du sort everyone Du meet into the four Hogwarts houses (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin).

Du were burned when Du couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

Du had to go to the hospital after Du broke your nose running headfirst into the Wand between platforms nine and ten.

The wand order mistake in GoF drove Du crazy, and even after it was "corrected" Du still came up with dozens of theories to explain why that happened.

Du point at normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these Muggles dream up!"

Du collect plugs.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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oben, nach oben Ten Signs Your Kid is a Wizard

10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke
9. Du say, "Do Du think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does
8. He gets busted shoplifting a newt
7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash - am I right, parents?
6. He wears shiny red satin robes - and you're praying he's just a wizard
5. Favorit discount electronics store: "The Wiz"
4. He refers to Halloween as "amateur night"
3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow
2. His Favorit excuse is that "his homework ate the dog"
1. Du catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand

(From "The Late Zeigen with David Letterman")


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oben, nach oben Ten Signs the Actor Playing Harry Potter is Too Old

10. Uses magic spell to convince store clerk to sell him beef and cigarettes.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Du know you've read SS/PS one too many times when Du . . .

1. Continually ask people if they want a zitrone Drop.

2. Throw blankets over yourself and insist you're invisble.

3. Tell your hats that Du don't want to be put it Slytherin.

4. Wince and grab your forehead every time Du see a man wearing a turban.

5. Ask snakes if they can hear you.

6. Instruct your chess pieces where to move.

7. Paint walnuts yellow, toss them in the air, and say you're the youngest seeker in a century.

8. Choke on sagte walnut, and say that you've caught the Snitch.

9. Act genuinely surprised when Du get presents for Christmas.

10. Tap Zufällig bricks with an umbrella and insist you're trying to get into Diagon Alley.

11. Pay people with your version of Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts.

12. Wave Zufällig sticks around, and when nothing happens, tell yourself that it just isn't the right one.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Offer her flies. Tell her they're good with ketchup.

2. Ask her if she's related to Trevor.

3. Follow close behind her all day, making clip-clopping noises with your tongue.

4. Ask her if she's met the handsome new divination teacher.

5. Tell her that Cornelius fondant, fudge only hired her to scare small children.

6. Dye all her clothes black. . . .

7. . . . When she acts horrified, say Du were only trying to help her, and that "black is the new pink."

8. Send her Liebe notes, signing them as if they were from Cornelius Fudge.

9. Perpetually use the word "umbrage."

10. Remind her constantly that her "Selwyn Family Heirloom" contained the shreds of the most evil wizard of modern times.

11. Create your own Educational Decrees to contradict her's.

12. Make sure these sagte Decrees are identical to her own. Post them everywhere.

13. Turn all of her Kätzchen into toads.
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Should Dudley be backing up for any reason, go "beep, beep, beep . . ."

2. Egg their house. Don't feel confined to chicken eggs.

3. mantel their entire küche with butter.

4. Get a cheap Muggle cell phone. Give it a very annoying ring tone, and set it to ring every Stunde on the hour. Make it invisible. Hide it in the air vent of their house.

5. Charm their garden hose to come to life and spray them down.

6. Charm their lawn to sprout large purple mushrooms. When stepped on, these mushrooms should squeak loudly.

7. Replace any Blumen in their garden with the ever beliebt water squirting flowers.

8. Sneak some particularly eerie-looking gnomes into their garden. Partially hide them behind bushes and such, so that they appear to be spying on those nearby.

9. If there's any room left in the garden, plant them a particularly sensitive Mimbulus Mimbletonia.

10. Slip a doxy into their mailbox . . .
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Opinion by BellaCullen96 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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1. Tell her Ron proposed to Lavender in Madam Puddifoot's.

2. Tell her McGonagall sagte that her insgesamt OWL results would have been a T, but they decided that would have been an insult to trolls.

3. Frequently inquire as to why she is wasting time knitting all those woolly bladders and leaving them lying around the common room.

4. When Du ask why she's angry with Pansy Parkinson, and she tells Du it's because Pansy just compared her to a chipmunk, act confused and say: "But why are Du so upset? I thought Du valued honesty in others?"

5. Whenever something in Hogwarts isn't working properly, say loudly: "I reckon it's those stupid house elves' fault. Dumbledore's much too soft with them. . . ."

6. Say to her: "You remind me of a movie star." When she beams at you, say: "Yes, it's incredibly hard to find somebody who looks like Bugs Bunny, but with those front teeth of yours you're the spitting image of him."

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Opinion by BuffyFaithFan1 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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[u][b]Potions, Spells and Magical Objects[b][u]

[b]A-[b]
Accio (Summoning Charm) - Latin for "I summon."
Alohomora (Spell that opens locks) - Derived from the Hawaiian "Aloha" meaning "goodbye," and the Latin word "mora," meaning "obstacle."
Amortentia - "Amor" is the Latin word for "love," and "tentia" is derived from "tentare," which means "the handling of," "the making of an attempt," oder "the attack on." Hence, "the handling of love," "making an attempt to love," oder "the attack on love."
Anapneo (Spell that clears blocked airways) - In Greek, "anapneo" means "I breathe."
Aparecium (Spell that makes invisible ink appear) - From the Latin word "aperio," meaning to "uncover, lay bare, reveal, oder make clear" oder "apparere," meaning to "make clear." It is spelled with only one "p," perhaps because of "apertus" which means "open, obvious, public."
Arithmancy - A method of fortune-telling based on names, numbers, and mathematical calculations. From the Greek, "arithmo" meaning "number" and "mancy" meaning "prophecy." It is also known as numerology.
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Fan fiction by e2mma2weasle3 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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Its Weihnachten Eve here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I am not happy. A stupid plant took me hostage! I am standing here, in some deserted hallway - alright, maybe its not deserted per say, but it sure as bloody hell looks like it from where I’m standing; and have been standing for the past Stunde - in a part of the school, I don’t even know where! Stupid Mistletoe. Yes, I, Rose Weasley, have had the misfortune of getting stuck under one of Hogwarts’ famous Mistletoe bunches.

Now I’m guessing your wondering ‘Why are they famous?’, and I’ll tell you. Every Jahr Mistletoe is hung scattered throughout the hallways on Weihnachten and Weihnachten Eve day, and the students here avoid them like the plague. That is, if they don’t want to be stuck standing there underneath the evil plant for hours until some Zufällig person comes along and kisses them. I think Du get my point.

Normally I try to avoid them altogether, and for the past three years that I’ve been going to this school I’ve been successful, but that could also be because this is the first Jahr I’ve actually stayed here for Weihnachten instead of going home. Oh why...
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Opinion by AdaLove posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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In February 2006 JK Rowling donated a sketch of the Black family baum for a Book Aid charity auction, and as expected, it generated a great deal of interest and excitement in the Harry Potter Fan community. And finally, as the Jahr draws to a close, the MuggleNet Encyclopedia has managed to get the full family tree, along with information about the people on it, up on site - and about time too, a lot of Du might say.

Whilst the baum gives a fascinating insight into the background of one of the oldest pure-blood families of all, it also threw up a number of surprising facts and - perhaps - the odd inconsistency oder two. Well, JK herself has held up her hand to say that math is anything but her strong point, and so we'll certainly let her off on this one. Mathematical uncertainties aside, however, the baum does provide some very interesting information about the Black family. These are the things that leapt out at me when I first looked at it in detail.

Du might be well advised keeping our copy of the baum open in one window for reference while Du look through this lot. Here's an easy link to a new window to help Du out: The Black Family Tree.
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Opinion by AdaLove posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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First of All,Because Today's a special date!
Harry's birthdate,ihope Du didn't forgot it as the Dursleys?
What else happened today!?

*7.31.1980

Harry Potter is born [PS/SS3].

7.31.1991

Harry discovers he is a wizard, meets Hagrid, and visits Diagon Alley for the first time [PS/SS4].

7.31.1992

Harry meets Dobby for the first time whilst the Dursleys have a abendessen party, and the Elf uses a Hover Charm on Aunt Petunia's pudding, causing a serious disruption at dinner, and Harry to receive an official warning from the Ministry about using underage magic [COS2].

7.31.1993

Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys' [POA2].

7.31.1996

The guests at Harry's birthday abendessen discuss the death of Karkaroff, and the disappearances of Ollivander and Florian Fortescue [HBP6].

7.31.1997

Ginny kisses Harry, but they are interrupted. Scrimgeour arrives at The Burrow, gives them the items from Dumbledore's will, and argues with Harry about the way to wage the war [DH6].
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Opinion by AdaLove posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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The Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince film continues to perform phenomenally well at the box office, for the sixth film came in first place in box office takings for the UK and Ireland this past weekend. The BBC reports that the film grossed 33 million pounds this past weekend, beating out the Sandra Bullock film The Proposal, and becoming "the biggest UK box office success of the Jahr so far."

A Berichten is also online from ScreenDaily noting that the sixth Potter film has grossed an impressive $405.3 million in its release, helping push gross Warner Bros. international box office takings over $1 billion. The story continues:

The sixth film in the Potter franchise holds the record for the highest-grossing international opening with $236m, and became one of the fastest films to break the $300m mark — within eight days of release.

This weekend’s estimated gross of $84.4m in 64 markets included the highest Potter opening in Poland ($2m), a new Warner record in Argentina of $1.9m, and the UK adding $8.2m for a new cume of $52.8m, making Potter the oben, nach oben film of 2009 in the Hogwarts-home territory.
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Fan fiction by monsy38 posted Vor mehr als einem Jahr
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“Take it…take it…”
    Snape struggled to give Harry the memories that explained what had happened, why he had had to do what he did. He held on as tightly as he could, trying to filter into Harry just how important it was for him to see them. Snape felt himself drifting. He knew that he was about to die, after all these years he would finally get his wish. For him, life had been fueled Von the dream of Lily loving him as much as he did her. She had been his one true friend, and though she didn’t know it, his whole world. Severus knew that he wasn’t easily liked and that had only made him Liebe her even more, because she had been his only chance. He had tried since the Tag that he had met her, done the best he could to get her to realize how much they were meant to be together, but than the Tag had come when his pride had gotten the better of him. The pain of the memory burned him, almost as much as when he saw James and Lily together, it didn’t compare, though, to the pain that he had felt when he found out that Lily was dead. That pain had been beyond imagining. It was as if the Crusio spell was being done directly onto his heart. It was...
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