1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Tell him that he should get plastic surgery. When he’s done say :I told Du Du had a pig nose!!”
3. Wake him up Von Singen strand Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...’
4. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say Du taught him everything he knows.
5. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
6. Pat him on the head and give him Blumen when his plans are foiled yet again.
7. If Du ever need to say 'Like taking Süßigkeiten from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
8. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
9. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
10. Insist that Du have met chunks of cheese with Mehr cunning plans than his.
11. When he tries to impress Du with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
12. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'
13. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out Gold stars.
14. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
15. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
16. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
17. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.
18. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say Du 'thought Du were helping!'
19. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
20. Buy him a stress ball.
21. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
22. Call him Tommy-boy. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
23. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
24. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
25. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.
26. Politely exclaim now and again that Du 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
27. Sing 'California girls' at the oben, nach oben of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
28. Tell him Du know this great therapist in London....
29. Steal, snap and bury his wand. (You might want to do this BEFORE Du do all this other stuff)
30. Then tell him Lucius Malfoy did it.
31. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
32. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
33. Write him a theme song. Start Singen it whenever he is about to do oder say something particularly clever and nasty.
34. When he's done something particularly nasty - kreuz your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do Du really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
35. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
36. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy that Lucious Malfoy destroyed."
37. Cuddle him at Zufällig moments.
38. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
39. Tell him Du think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'
40. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter oder Dumbledore.
41. Mock his baldness.
42. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
43. Be Harry Potter. Be alive
2. Tell him that he should get plastic surgery. When he’s done say :I told Du Du had a pig nose!!”
3. Wake him up Von Singen strand Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...’
4. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say Du taught him everything he knows.
5. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
6. Pat him on the head and give him Blumen when his plans are foiled yet again.
7. If Du ever need to say 'Like taking Süßigkeiten from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
8. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
9. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
10. Insist that Du have met chunks of cheese with Mehr cunning plans than his.
11. When he tries to impress Du with his powers say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
12. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? Whats that, a washing detergent?'
13. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out Gold stars.
14. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
15. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.
16. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
17. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.
18. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say Du 'thought Du were helping!'
19. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
20. Buy him a stress ball.
21. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
22. Call him Tommy-boy. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
23. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
24. 'Imperius' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
25. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.
26. Politely exclaim now and again that Du 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
27. Sing 'California girls' at the oben, nach oben of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
28. Tell him Du know this great therapist in London....
29. Steal, snap and bury his wand. (You might want to do this BEFORE Du do all this other stuff)
30. Then tell him Lucius Malfoy did it.
31. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
32. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
33. Write him a theme song. Start Singen it whenever he is about to do oder say something particularly clever and nasty.
34. When he's done something particularly nasty - kreuz your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do Du really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
35. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
36. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy that Lucious Malfoy destroyed."
37. Cuddle him at Zufällig moments.
38. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
39. Tell him Du think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'
40. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter oder Dumbledore.
41. Mock his baldness.
42. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
43. Be Harry Potter. Be alive
1. Nodody excpt Hermione has read Hogwarts A History.
2. Prof Binns doesn't seem to notice that most people sleep in his lessons.
3. Don't wander somewhere with Harry in the final scenes of the movie.
4. Hearing Voices In The Wizarding World Isn't A Good Sign.
5. Ghosts are Transparent (taken from Harry when Snape asked Harry to describe ghosts)
6. It's not a good idea to eat Chocolates Du found on the floor.
7. Never sit under the Whomping Willow.
8. Peter is a better ratte than human.
9. Don't follow the spiders!
10. Arguing with Professor Umbridge in class will earn Du a keks from Professor McGonagall.
2. Prof Binns doesn't seem to notice that most people sleep in his lessons.
3. Don't wander somewhere with Harry in the final scenes of the movie.
4. Hearing Voices In The Wizarding World Isn't A Good Sign.
5. Ghosts are Transparent (taken from Harry when Snape asked Harry to describe ghosts)
6. It's not a good idea to eat Chocolates Du found on the floor.
7. Never sit under the Whomping Willow.
8. Peter is a better ratte than human.
9. Don't follow the spiders!
10. Arguing with Professor Umbridge in class will earn Du a keks from Professor McGonagall.
First of All,Because Today's a special date!
Harry's birthdate,ihope Du didn't forgot it as the Dursleys?
What else happened today!?
*7.31.1980
Harry Potter is born [PS/SS3].
7.31.1991
Harry discovers he is a wizard, meets Hagrid, and visits Diagon Alley for the first time [PS/SS4].
7.31.1992
Harry meets Dobby for the first time whilst the Dursleys have a abendessen party, and the Elf uses a Hover Charm on Aunt Petunia's pudding, causing a serious disruption at dinner, and Harry to receive an official warning from the Ministry about using underage magic [COS2].
7.31.1993
Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys' [POA2].
7.31.1996
The guests at Harry's birthday abendessen discuss the death of Karkaroff, and the disappearances of Ollivander and Florian Fortescue [HBP6].
7.31.1997
Ginny kisses Harry, but they are interrupted. Scrimgeour arrives at The Burrow, gives them the items from Dumbledore's will, and argues with Harry about the way to wage the war [DH6].
Harry's birthdate,ihope Du didn't forgot it as the Dursleys?
What else happened today!?
*7.31.1980
Harry Potter is born [PS/SS3].
7.31.1991
Harry discovers he is a wizard, meets Hagrid, and visits Diagon Alley for the first time [PS/SS4].
7.31.1992
Harry meets Dobby for the first time whilst the Dursleys have a abendessen party, and the Elf uses a Hover Charm on Aunt Petunia's pudding, causing a serious disruption at dinner, and Harry to receive an official warning from the Ministry about using underage magic [COS2].
7.31.1993
Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys' [POA2].
7.31.1996
The guests at Harry's birthday abendessen discuss the death of Karkaroff, and the disappearances of Ollivander and Florian Fortescue [HBP6].
7.31.1997
Ginny kisses Harry, but they are interrupted. Scrimgeour arrives at The Burrow, gives them the items from Dumbledore's will, and argues with Harry about the way to wage the war [DH6].