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401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form.
402. I will not ask people what their demons are.
403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagne
.404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house.
405. I will not call pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.
406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.
407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.
408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins have tempted other students with apples.
409. Frankenstein is not required Lesen for DADA classes.4
10. -Neither is Dracula.
411. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.
412. If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated.
413. Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Weihnachten present to the House means Du should watch your back until June.
414. -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break.
415. -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard.
416. I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot.
417. -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard oder witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they"obviously aren't cut out for this school".
418. I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a wholehandful simultaneously.
419. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
420.I will not attempt to repel Dementors Von covering myself in Schokolade body paint.
421. I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASHSLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!"
422. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals
423. -Likewise, I will not tell First Jahr Muggle-borns that Pokemon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures curriculum
424. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them.
425. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".
426. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
427. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a frettchen and bounce" is always a bad idea.
428. The Crucible is not summer Lesen for History of Magic, and I should not tell First Years that it is.
429. "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.
430. I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.
431. - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
432. The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.
433. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
434. - I will not attempt to recruit the Titel character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
435. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror.
436. -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a Gold riemen, string, tanga is inappropriate.
437. -Especially if he's wearing it.
438. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.
439. -I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
440. Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor oder any similar character is not an appropriatesubject for a Muggle Studies essay
.441. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
442. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's first names are, respectively, Draco, Vincent and Gregory, not Larry, Darryl and Darryl.
443. The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".
444. -Even if that is an accurate description.
445. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.
446. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
447. I am not allowed to spank others.
448. -Even if Malfoy liked it.
449. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.
450. -This goes double for superglue.
451. I am not to dance naked in the great hall.
452. -Or on the grounds.4
53. -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.
454. Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.
455. -While in the company of goblins, I must not demand that I be taken to Jareth.
456. -Nor shall I tell them "You remind me of the babe.
457. Draco Malfoy no longer requires a nanny, nor does he need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.
458. - Not even if he insists that he does. And that his father has hired me to provide sagte service.
459. I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet.
460. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form
.461. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
462. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the Sekunde cousin of Sauron.
463. I will not tell first years that they should build a baum house in the Whomping Willow.
464. I will not write forged letters Home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals theyare learning.
465. I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look Mehr like Orlando Bloom.
466. - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season
.467. I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight Wird angezeigt of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".
468. -The same goes double for Voldemort.
469. -Likewise, I will no longer be permitted to refer to Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange as Riff Raff and Magenta
.470. -Especially to their faces.
471. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.
472. Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'
473. -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'
474. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'
475. Sending Liebe notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.
476. -Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'.
477. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable
.478. -Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty'.
479. oder 'I'm too sexy'.
480. I am not a 'ninja sent here Von Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at mealtimes
.481. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'
.482. I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?"
483. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.
484. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a hemd, shirt that says `All the good-looking ones die young` with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
485. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger
.486. -Especially if it's not true.4
87. -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.
488. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, oder Bellatrix with the imaginary details
489. A frettchen is not a proper Weihnachten gift for Draco Malfoy.
490. -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a frettchen so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.
491. -Giving Draco a bowl of frettchen pellets with his abendessen was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.
492. Voldemort is not my homeboy.
493. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.
494. Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.
495. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.
496. Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around Singen "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".
497. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting.
498. -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.
499. -Or Harry and Draco.
500. Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.
added by kathiria82
posted by dragonsmemory
((This is yet another one-shot based on my fanfic "In The Background." If you'd like to read it and other Hailey Potter stories, just send me a message and I'll direct Du to all the stories.
This particular one takes place just after the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry and Hailey have a talk. That's all I'm saying.))


Hailey Potter stood on the ruined steps of Hogwarts Castle, looking out at the grounds. It had been a few days since the battle, since the world changed.

A steady rain was falling, turning most of the ground to mud. She could see his footprints in the mud, leading down towards the lake....
continue reading...
posted by Helena-B-Carter
On a frosty night, in the dungeon of Hogwarts schloss dwelled a sarcastic, bat-like potions master Von the name of Severus Snape.

Most of us here Liebe him, oder at the very least, like him. Though I know I liked him from the very beginning when his sarcasm began to show, I also know many of his dedicated Fans hated him at that time - for bullying Harry.
But, we ask ourselves, why did his Fans forgive and Liebe him? This Frage is rather simple and the answer is without a doubt. Because of his unconditional Liebe for Lily. And, we also ask ourselves, why do we find his Liebe for Lily touching? Because...
continue reading...
~Before I start, I just want to give some credit to LifesGoodx3 for giving me the idea for this article.~


Now, if Du know me Du probably know that Rose Weasley is my Favorit character of all-time. Now, I know that's HIGHLY uncommon because no one knows about Rose oder any of the New Generation kids until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. So, in this article, I'd like to Zeigen Du why Rose is my Favorit character. Well, first off, we never see Rose do much because she only comes in the bitter end of Deathly Hallows and we don't see her in any scenarios and how she would react. But, I think...
continue reading...
posted by problematic124
We all know who they are. We even seen them in Snape's
memory. They were one of the coolest kids at Hogwarts, all though they were a bit mean.
We all know Moony (Professor Lupin) was a werewolf and when he transformed he'd go to the Shreiking Shack were he'd endured very painful transformations.
We also know that the other's instead of running away in terror thought it was cool and therefore turned into Animagus.
Remus Lupin as I sagte Moony the werewolf.
Sirius Black as Padfoot the dog (but bearike).
Peter Pettigrew as Wormtail the rat.
James Potter as Prongs the stag.
Together they make the four...
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1) Attempt to use Snape's oily hair to cook chips

2) Send Snape shampoo

3) Take pictures of himself while showering and then sell them to the female population of Hogwarts.

4) Give Remus a makeover while he is asleep.

5) Ask the potions professor whether the day's assignment can be used a sexual lubricant.

6) Sign his essays 'Seriously Sexy Sirius'.

7) Convince Remus that all the Bücher in the bibliothek have been stolen and that it is closing down.

8) Tell First years that Filch is the Voice of God.

9)Tell people that it's Remus' Time of the Monat when he tells First Years off for breathing too loudly.

10)Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross

11)I will not change the Passwort to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
The two figures walked silently in unity, their feet trudging through the high snow. Both their faces were wet with tears, and the girl clutched a bundle of bright red roses. They stopped immediately in front of a strong iron gate beside a small cozy church, adorned with brilliant Weihnachten lights, and inside voices sang in chorus to familiar Weihnachten songs.
They both stared beyond, unsure of whether to go in oder not. The red-headed boy made his decision first and leaned on the gate, crying into his hands. The girl seemed unable to look at him, and her gaze was locked Von a white marble tombstone...
continue reading...
I do not own Harry Potter, oder A Midsummer Night's Dream. I did have a dream in summer one time, though...I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CORNELIUS
Now, Lydia, our nuptial hour
Draws on apace; four happy days bring in
Another moon: but, O, methinks, how slow
This old moon wanes! She lingers my desires,
Like to a step-dame oder a dowager
Long withering out a young man revenue.

LYDIA
Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow
New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night
Of our solemnities.

CORNELIUS...
continue reading...
added by abbott_hannah
Hello! This is my first story. Enjoy.

I looked out at the water, making ripples with my hand. A magic school was on my way.
"Get back inside, your list's here!" my dad called from the house. He was the The God of the Sea, Poseidon.
I went back inside and picked up a paper, and it read:

Dear Percy Jackson,

Du have a place in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please go to The Leaky Cauldron, then to Diagon Alley to get your school things. The train leaves Sep, 1st, at 11:00am, from Platform 9 and 3 quarters.

See Du at Hogwarts,

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore

An Liste is below:

From there was a Liste of things. I looked up. Time went Von fast...

part 2 coming later. See ya!
posted by elsafan1010
TOTAL LIST
1- Ask her if she's poor enough to afford a normal pen rather than the banned ones.

2- Call her Pinkie Pie.

3- Tell her you're gonna give her a dress for birthday and when she asks put a dress on a toad and Zeigen her.

4- Tell her Lockhart did a better job teaching than her.

5- Don't say anything when she punishes Du and when she tells Du "Why don't Du speak up" tell her that Du can't talk bad with animals.

6- Call Madam Pomfrey every Sekunde she speaks and say "You don't sound good, miss,"

7- Tell her that she should have been in the Hogwarts House called Pinkies.

8- Turn her into a toad...
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added by WhiteLagoon13
Source: Me
added by Dundee673
added by 0YouCanFly0
added by LiLa_66
Source: tumblr