Forget about vampires. Forget about werewolves.
How funny and bizarre would these scenarios be if your boyfriend would act like this?
Enjoy!
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You: "I'm going to go hang out with [insert best friend's name here], see Du tonight!"
Ideal Man: "No you're not."
You:"....? Of course I will."
Ideal Man: "You might get into an argument with [insert friend's name here] and s/he might stab Du with a knife. At least let me come hang out outside of his/her house and oogle through the window to make sure you're safe."
You:"Why the hell would they stab me??"
Ideal Man: "I don't trust him/her."
You: Oh for f.......
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