Rant: Olly is not Edd and Swords are not Blocks 

Warning: This is an article written from the perspective of a book reader. Unsullied, considered yourself appropriately warned.

Season 5, Episode 3, was a bit of a game changer for hard-core book readers like myself. Not only did Sansa return to Winterfell, but she’s being closely followed by Brienne and Pod. Clearly, the showrunners are setting events in motion by placing certain characters in close proximity to one another. While Brienne is tracking Sansa in the books, she never comes close to finding her…at least not yet. This is what happens when characters are excluded and story-arcs are changed or completely ignored (ahem…Lady Stoneheart). Is it a bad thing that, in the show, Brienne not only knows where Sansa is but has been closely following her? No, because Gwendoline Christie is a force to be reckoned with and her skill as an actress can carry an entire episode. At least with Sansa’s divergent story, we got someone saying “The North remembers.”

On the topic of iconic lines, I think it devalues these stories when well-known lines from the books (e.g. Tyrion’s “Where do whores go?”) are cut. Tyrion should be drunkenly stumbling his way to Meereen, asking that question to everyone he crosses. I know, I know, many of you think that line is unimportant and therefore unnecessary to Tyrion’s story…and if you think that, you’re wrong. Tyrion is a product of his own life experiences, and finding out that his father forced his brother Jaime to lie about Tysha, his first love and wife, being a whore was an important life experience for him.

Tyrion is also infamous for his debauchery. So, when he passed up a chance to get laid with the prostitute in Volantis, I called bullshit. If there is one thing that the Imp can be counted on for, it’s his randy attitude—his never-ending need to have sex with any woman, anywhere, anytime. The Tyrion I know from the books would never turn down the chance to have sex, especially after spending days on end trapped in a rolling box with Varys.

That entire scene felt like fan-service to me; a ploy to make us feel bad for Tyrion. Peter Dinklage doesn’t need to endear himself to

fans, he doesn’t need to show his vulnerability for us to connect with his character. In my opinion, it cheapens one of the deepest and most complex characters in the entire series.

Now that I’ve released my anger over what seemed to be Tyrion Lannister battling erectile dysfunction, let’s talk about another iconic phrase that was nixed, for no good reason. In the books, when Lord Commander Jon Snow orders Janos Slynt to be taken outside, he eventually tells his steward Eddison Tollett, “Edd, fetch me a block.” Much like Tyrion’s “Where do whores go?” that line was left out. Instead, for reasons beyond my comprehension, Jon tells his steward Olly (the creepy little kid who is totally going to turn on him), “Olly, bring me my sword.”

My problem with this is that there is absolutely zero reason for changing this line, a line that a large number of

fans count as one of the best in the series. I understand that sometimes literature does not transfer well onto the big or little screen, but leaving out “Edd, fetch me a block” is tantamount to leaving out “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” Can you imagine Ygritte’s famous lines being given to Tormund? Or worse, altered in some weird way? “Your lack of knowledge is frustrating to me, Jon Snow.” See? It simply does not carry the same weight.

I fully realize that these may be minor changes to most of you. In fact, I can openly accept that my level of book purism may border on fanatical. But George R.R. Martin created these characters and phrases for a reason. To leave them out of the show is to basically take away what makes these wonderful characters so interesting, fun, relatable, and rich.

Next: Razor’s Rant: A Look inside the mind of a book purist: Sansa’s journey

We’re approaching the midway point of the season. Game of Thrones, like childhood, passes so...

The third episode of Game of Thrones’ fifth season, “High Sparrow,” has come...

Have you already read all the books and/or don\'t care about spoilers? You can reveal all the spoilers in the comments with the click of a link below.

If you were a book purist, wouldn’t you stopped watching by now?

Here’s the thing: book fans have known since Season 2-3 that changes, some minor, some major, would occur going forward. Many complained, but it was known, and yet, ‘purists’ continue watching the show and continue complaining about changes, despite the fact that we all knew this was coming, so the question is, why keep watching if you know you’re going to be upset?

You bring up a great point. However, my answer is this: I love the show. It’s hard to explain, but in short, I love both the books and the show, it’s just that I would love for certain things to happen. Easy things, simple things like quotes that every book reader knows by heart. It makes me sad to see “Edd, fetch me a block” go the way of the dodo bird.

Despite all the changes, I still look forward to watching every Sunday night. As much as I am a self-proclaimed book purist, I still have room in my heart for the show, as well. =)

Personally, I am not a purist but I don’t like the fact that Sansa has been written in as a Jenie Pool stand in. It wasn’t necessary, it wont’ be accepted well by the viewers and certainly considering her arc in the books, isn’t even close. It didn’t bother me that Stoneheart was left out or that Jamie is going to Dorn instead of taking care of business in Westeros. But I do object to this change to Sansa’s arc. It sickens me.

However, George RR Martin put the producers of the show in this bind. For whatever reason he stopped writing after a Dance with Dragons was published. HBO and the producers have to continue with story, there is no way HBO can hold the cast and bear the cost of the show while George finishes the books. Story line’s will be changed and modified to finish the storyline in timely manner. I hope we get 8 seasons of GoT. However, I think we only get 7 seasons.

The book is not bible and is not perfect. There is no way for things in the show to be the exact same as in the books, however the show still manages to be INCREDIBLY faithful to the series. They change what they need to change in order to bring you the best possible season, and therefore they cut the fat. The books had a lot of fat but the grace with the books is that you could KEEP READING to find out what happens. Book purists apparently want nearly a whole season of nothing happening, which is what would’ve happened if they followed the books exactly. D&D are doing an unbelievable job. And I was disappointed they didn’t have Ed, fetch me a block but they still had Olly, bring me my sword which is the same thing and actually probably better. Like Ed better, yet he got to be the cool guy to go stand up to Thorne and then grab Slynt when Thorne gave him up. Also, where do whores go is a good line but a VERY BORING plot point when it comes to Tyrion. It has proved little purpose and no payoff. I’ve read the books and watch the show, book purists are idiots

James on Razor’s Rant: Olly is not Edd and Swords are not Blocks

Robbie on Razor’s Rant: Olly is not Edd and Swords are not Blocks