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posted by 67Dodge
"Your Identification please, mister Barker," the female on the counter commanded. 

Damion reached into a pocket in his leather jacke for a plastic ID card, setting it gently on the desk. 

"Certifications?"

Damion sighed, getting several rolls of paper. 

The lady at the counter took a look at each and every form set on her desk, scanning the bar codes and typing away at her keyboard with scrutiny. She first looked at the ID card, the black text Lesen "Todd Barker", and a non-smiling face stared back at her. She looked at the certifications as well. Her plump figure was clad in all black, with only one white patch on her chest Lesen "Marie". 

"Well, everything here looks correct, you've vouched and own a property, congratulations, you're in business." Marie handed Damion the papers back with a smile. 

"Thank you."

He took each paper, folding them up and picked up his business plaque, shuffling each in his flippers, and made his way out of the building with an awkward hobble. 

Damion opened his Shop as soon as each chair and station was ready to be used. He carefully organized each brush Von color, size, and function, meticulously sharpened his ornate razors, mixed the creams and dyes until they were nice and pasty. The floor was tidied up, and register activated. Damion hung up his certificates, and threw on a white hemd, shirt and pants, black boots, and a dark blue vest. Now, all he had to do was wait for a customer. 

First they were slow minutes. Damion had all the patience of the world, he was thinking, wondering, picturing with his greatly expansive mind. Minuten became hours. As the clock over the register chimed 3 o' clock in the afternoon, Damion yawned with boredom, readjusting his dark brown contacts over his true eyes. It was a few Minuten in that a male pinguin stepped inside. 

"Good afternoon, um... Are you, Todd Barker?"

Damion didn't hesitate. 

"Yes, how may I be of service today, a stylish trimming of the hair? Soothing skin massage?" 

"Actually, none of the above, Du see, I need to get to an interview with a company over Von the RoPa district, and I-"

Damion pretended to listen to this man's gush of a story. 

Wow, look at this fool talk, it's as if he's a mouth with feet and flippers, no wonder why no one will hire this clown. The way he swings his flippers when speaking, how he's leaning on the door lazily, yammering, his accent. I'd say he's a dirty Prole from outside getting migrant work and feeding off my taxes. Look at his belly, is he about to lay an egg oder is he stashing red weed in condoms in his gut? Suppose I schlagen, punsch him and he'll get high instantly. Heheh..

"...So I was hoping I could get my chinstrap bleached and a trim to the feathers near my jaw?" 

"But of course."

The pinguin sat himself in one of the seats, awaiting for a cloak. 

Damion grabbed one of the many creams he had closed up, getting a swab, Q-tips, and a small brush, pulling out one of his razors. He brought each one over to the station Von the chair the pinguin was seated in, then proceeded to grab a cloak, draping it around his guest's neck and covering his body. 

"Sorry, could we start soon? I have an hour.." 

Typical Proletariat scum... They never just sit back and stop worrying about their nonexistent problems. Damion thought as he dipped the brush in the cream. 

With careful strokes, Damion lathered the dye over the chinstrap on his customer, smoothing out the edges where white feathers met black ones. He gazed upon his razor, eyes dilating as he did, slowly picking it up. 

Why don't I just put this filthy animal out of his misery...? After all, he'd want that soooo much...

Damion unlocked the razor, sharpening it on a board. 

He lowered the blade near his customer's jugular vein, his flipper shook slightly. 

Yes. Yes. I want this, it will be perfect... 

He quickly pulled back, instead, angling the blade to shave the offending chinstrap. 

"There Du go sir, would Du like anything else? Haircut perhaps?" 

Damion wiped the remaining creams off with a towel, held up a mirror, revealing a clean, plain white surface over his guest's chin. 

"Nope, that'll do just fine!" 

Damion weakly hobbled over to the register to finalize the transaction. 

"That'll be five Antarctic Marks..." 

His guest got the amount, laid it on his desk, and headed out. 

"Thank you!"

"Don't Du want your change?"

"Keep it." 

The door shut and Damion stood in the Shop in silence. 

I can't do that... I need Hannah.. I need her so much.. She's counting on me to change my ways. I can't let her down~ 

Damion sat in one of his chairs and sighed. 

Why am I tormented to desire such violent fantasies...? Ever since that slut abandoned me for a one night stand I've wanted nothing Mehr than to purge the world of such RUDE people. Then, Hannah comes in, and she melted my herz into her own~ I can't stop thinking about her kastanie eyes, her beautiful smile, her delicate flippers, her small feet, her short legs.. It's so cute when she has to stand on her toes to KISS me~ I can never forget her eyes staring tenderly back at me, her flippers caressing mine, her massive, wide rear en-

Damion paused. 

"Hang on!" 

He smiled. 

"The Kid is running around town slashing all the innocents of Antarctica for the sake of some demented fetish for blood. And I can't just make myself a target for the authorities... I WILL get to destroy somebody's life. Yes....! Oh that's brilliant~"

Damion put his razor blade in his pocket after closing it up. 

"Though, he's obviously masochistic, torture will do no good on him... Perhaps if I threatened to dispose of him swiftly and painlessly, I'm certain he'll be deathly afraid of not being able to fulfill his fantasies~" Damion smirked. 

At the strike of five o' clock in the afternoon, Damion shut off his "Open" sign, ready to close for the Tag for one lousy customer. 

"Hannah will adore me for absolutely annihilating The Kid~" 

Damion stopped as he heard the door open again. 

"Sorry, we're closed right now, perhaps if Du can arrive tomorrow, I'll be here to assist you."

"Oh but Mister Barker, I'm suffering a terrible case of loneliness~" 

Damion recognized the voice instantly. 

"Hannah!" he ran over to his mate, giving her a soft kiss. 

"Missed me hun?" 

Damion blushed. 

"But of course I did~"

"What were Du just talking about?" Hannah smiled. 

"I was thinking about the properties of the diameter of your rear end~" he chuckled.

"Oh is that so?" Hannah laughed.

"Yeah, it was awfully slow today~"

"Aww... Maybe I should take Du for some abendessen, abendmahl to cheer Du up~" Hannah hugged Damion. 

"No need to, I'm not that hungry." Damion hugged her back. 

"C'mon darling, let's at least grab some meat pies for a quick bite," Hannah sagte as she kissed his cheek. 

Damion sighed happily. 

"Fine... Only because Du suggested it~" 
posted by karenkook
Chapter 2

   I woke up the Weiter Tag less cold. I waddled out and breathed in the cold, icy air. It felt nice, but then I heard my stomache growl. I needed food, but who could give me food? Well, I would have to learn how to eat a whole fisch someday, guess today's my day. I waddled off trying to catch the faint scent of the salty breeze air so I can follow it. I learned that that's where the fisch were.

   I waddled very far from the cave, but my mind was on getting breakfast. I arrived at the edge of the sea and look at the water. I've seen the elders push each other off to see if they get...
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added by JessyParrot
added by LeoKatana-TPoM
For Sharpey, Mica, Bluey, Icicle, coolkowalski, iLikeKowalski and ladywhiplasher ~ (EPILEPSY-WARNING: CONTAINS QUICK AND LIGHT FLASHES!)
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Source: base I found and Paint
posted by 67Dodge
"Lemme make this simple bub, where's the girl?" asked The Kid, holding a crowbar. 

"Hannah?" asked Kowalski, bound to the floor with cuffs. 

"No, the Kaiser's wife, who the fuck else?" chuckled The Kid, twirling the crowbar in his flippers. 

"Why do Du need her? She already has a mate, and that mate is in jail for crimes Mehr lenient than yours, I doubt that you'd spare anyone..." spat Kowalski with malice. 

"Doubt? What about the pregnant women, the babies, eggs, all that? I can't pull myself to do that!" shouted The Kid, dropping the crowbar with sarcastic terror. 

"Oh really?" asked Kowalski...
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added by starslight101
Part 2! Once again, sorry it is mirrored.
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added by mostar1219
Here's me performing a poem i wrote based on a dream about Madagascar 3
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Source: me
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Source: Me
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Source: SgtSkipper & Boredom
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added by erinlabadie
Source: me
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Source: me
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Source: Me
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Source: Me!
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Source: Me
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Source: Me