I think elena choosing stefan was like a sacrifice for elena ,she felt as though she was indebted to him for saving her life ,and so she chose him,this actually proves that she loves damon Mehr ,because she knew if she was to be with damon ,she would always feel guilty that she didnt choose stefan because he saved her life and all,which is why she "had to let him go" ,elena didnt choose Liebe ,she chose "responsibility",meaning the responsibility which she thinks she has ,in other words "stefan".
I think my theory will be backed up in season 4 ,eg,because in the finale , stefan did not save elena,so...
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