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Twilight/New Moon: Funny !!

added by tooch

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twilight

New Moon – Bis(s) zur Mittagsstunde

funny

pictures

hpfan8, butterfly307 and 10 others like this

jennyrules1504 Nice one tooch....

topazEYEs91 hahahaha

volleyblue13 LOL

kwlski4ever LMAO

Wounded-Soul xD

2

How Twilight could have been Great.

posted by TDDD

I don't like Twilight. I find the characters shallow; the plot boring and cliche; and the hidden messages frightening. But in the hands of another Autor - someone who wouldn't let their religious upbringing, their misogynistic views, and their twisted romantic ideals colour the story - it could have been really fantastic.

First off, the grammar would have to be fixed. The purple prose minimised and the insgesamt Schreiben polished up.

Next the characters would have to be made realistic, their actions have an effect on the plot, and their history an effect on them.

Take Rosalie, for example. If Rosalie's...

Is it really that hard to explain?

posted by RonGetYourWand

There are some core things about the mythical creatures I wish Meyer would have gegeben an actual explaination for:

Vampires

1. Turning into bats

She could have explained it as bats are attracted to vampires, but she choose not to adress it at all.

2. Sleeping in a coffin

How about that having something to do with them faking their own death oder something?

3. Lack of Fangs

An evolution over time to adapt.

4. Sunlight

Related to the fact Vampire are considered to be connected to the devil.

Werewolves

1. Full-Moon

They meet at the full-moon.

2. Their Anger Issues (yes, I know that some of the Wölfe have this)

It could have been explained as a reaction to the moons phases.

3. Pack- Mind

Evolved trait oder even a gift from the spirits.

1

They say the full-moon drives us all a little mad...

posted by HecateA

*I'll have mentions to actual Werwölfe stories in here, so be ready for that

Even before Jacob and palls were called 'shapeshifters' (I'll get back to Du on that, I am not letting go), we should have known they couldn't be. And here's why.

First off: the origin oder werewolves.

In the Jahr 60, 70 people started believing in werewolf lore. The oldest myth I know about this is Ancient Greek, Lycaon.

Lycaon invited the king-god Zeus to dinner, but he was unsure if it really was him, so he decided to serve Zeus human meat. Turns out, it was Zeus. And Zeus was ticked. So he killed Lycaon' 50 sons...

2

O Tempora o mores

posted by Aquilia

O Tempora o Mores
Oh the times, oh the customs

This Artikel is an appeal to all Twilight Fans out there, I invite Du all to think over your good and bad actions here on Fanpop and contemplate them.

I have seen and compared examples of the appearances of the fandoms Harry Potter and respectively Twilight when criticism appear in each other’s sites on Fanpop and I am astounded Von the comparatively aggressive tone the Twilight Fans carried when they respond to the sagte criticism.

Compare the responses of: link

And: link ;

Notes are to be made that both internet addresses were found Von searching...

5

Heres the REAL reason why Jacob never answered Bella's calls.

posted by zanesaaomgfan

Jacob: Let me call Bella.*dials Bella's number*
Operator: I am sorry. This person is talking to (Bella's voice)Edward Cullen. Please leave a message after the tone.
*tone never comes up*
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The Weiter day.

Jacob: I want Bella NAO!*calls Bella*
(Answering machine): The Swans are out right now, please leave a message after the beep.
[beep never stops]
Jacob: OH C'MON!

The Tag after that:

Bella: *makes a new answering machine*
Jacob: *calls*
[Machine]: Hi, its Bella. If its Jacob, stop leaving messages saying "OH C'MON!" and if your not a Cullen oder my dad, don't call me. At ALL!
*beep*
Jacob: NOOOOOO!
*beep*
Jacob: ?
*beep beep beep beep*
{This phone will self destruct in 3, 2, 1}
Jacob: OH C'MON!

[Check the TS spot to see who made it, its me. So don't kill me about 'You stahl, stola this!'].

6

A short summary of Twilight IMHO.

posted by RobynPotter

{i did not write this myself, but i found it ridiculously funny and thought it needed to be gepostet here}

Book 1. Twilight:
Edward: Hey.
Bella: OMG, I'm so silly. And horny.
Edward: Yes. I'm dangerous. I sparkle.
Bella: OMG you're a vampire!
Edward: Yes. Let's go play baseball.
James: I like your girl, Edward. Gotta eat her.
Edward: Roar.
James: Omnomnom Bella.
Bella: OMG I'm screaming in agony! Yes, I will be a vampire!
Edward: I'm gonna kill you, James! I'm gonna suck Bella as well.
Jacob: Oh, hi there!
Book 2. New Moon:
Edward: Oops, gotta go.
Bella: OMG don't leave me! OMG I'm so depressed and dying in...

10

Twilight brings out the inner stupid in me & I actually ♥ it. I think.

posted by rachaelwsz

There are 5 things Du need to know-

This Artikel is basically:
1. My story on how I got sucked into the Twilight Universe.
2. My life story on how Twilight has changed me. A lot.
3. A rant on why I like and hate about the series.
4. A confession on why I can't seem to get over with hating and loving it.
5. An opinion about how my life could have been without Twilight.

WARNING: Overall, this Artikel is about... why I think Twilight isn't that 'bad' after all. It's going to be lengthy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This had me wondering for a while and to...

10

Twilight Jokes

posted by nessienjake

Created:~Alice~

Q: What to Edward and a Weihnachten baum have in common?
A: Their balls are for decoration.

Bella: You're pale white and ice cold...I know what Du are.
Edward: Say it. Say it!
Bella: Vanilla Ice Cream!

Edward: Bella...
Bella: Yes?
Edward: I just want to know how much Du mean to me.
Bella: Aaw...
Edward: Du know, what with me being an ancient VIRGIN vampire and everything...
Bella: Yeah?
Edward: Well, people were starting to think I was, y'know-
Bella: Gay?
Edward: ...
Edward: Old fashioned.
Bella: ...
Bella: Oh.

Q: How do Du kill a brain?
A: Put it in the same room with Ms Meyer and her Bücher and wait for two minutes.

Q: What did bella say when the shops ran low off the glitter?
A: yeeew!!! Edward Du suck!!!!

12

Curing Involuntarily Twilight association

posted by Asvini

Whether Du hate Twilight so much it fills Du with a burning rage so powerful it's full extent can only be expressed through the medium of interpretive dance, oder Liebe it so much Du plan to sail out to international waters to avoid those pesky laws that prevent Du from marrying a book, oder perhaps even exist in the non crazy middleground between the two, overexposure can be a pain. Especially when it gets to the level where suddenly everything becomes linked to Twilight. Du hear the name 'Edward', Du think 'Cullen', the word 'sparkles' Du think 'vampire', the words 'howler monkey' Du think...

10

Team ____________

added by Jasper_LUVER

Source: Google

4

It's finally happened: A vampire book worse than Twilight (spoilers)

posted by classicalexpert

It's called "Daughter of Darkness" Von V.C. Andrews.

This book was just aweful. It's about a 17 Jahr old vampire girl named Lorelie Patio (Mary Sue alert!) whos only purpose in life is to be her Daddy's sex slave. This book is filled with shallow evaluations of beauty, anti feminism, poor morals, and disgusting turn of events.

Lorelie has three sisters who are manipulated and emotionally abused Von their father. The worst thing about it is that it's never seen as a bad thing. It's disguised as fatherly love. None of the characters recognize the manipulation oder abuse. Du have to read between the...

Good Job! But is it your job to explain?

posted by RonGetYourWand

This is under 'opinion' so please don't send any hate, it's just a though I had.

I have read various explainations both on this site and others about things antis point out as plot holes. (Ex: Renessme, Imprinting, Vampire Transformation, ect.) And I think that it's great that some people do think it through and don't just take it because it is what was written. What I don't understand is why Du should have too.

In my mind, when an Autor creates a story with a new oder different breed of creature they should explain it atleast to some degree.

I'm not saying she needs to explain every little thing,...

5

100 Reasons why Twilight Suck

posted by XxGigglesxX

1. Twilight is the product of an immature writer. It reads like something out of my notebook from freshman year.
2. The only difference between Twilight and fanfiction.net is marginally better grammar.
3. And even that isn’t so great sometimes. English major fail.
4. I’ve read fanfiction that is lightyears better than Twitripe.
5. The prose is purple amethyst! Deep, luscious, dazzling amethyst that scintillates and glitters incandescently in the sun!
6. Not to mention, it’s also insanely repetitive.
7. THESAURUS ABUSE! Fancy words are not necessarily better words.
8. The storyline is trite and...

9

Visions, and how different characters use them...

added by this-is-my-name

1

Twilight Funny Pictures

added by marthatsal

6

My Letter to Stephanie Meyer

posted by TriaRose

Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As Du have probably guessed, I am Schreiben to Du concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the Bücher as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 oder so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then Du throw in three...

5

Are the Cullens good heroes/heroines?

posted by MCRTS

After Lesen the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" Von bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella schwan a heroine. If Du do, Du have got a really great deal of imagination, oder a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight Fans would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...

The Twilight Saga as a Subconscious Retelling of a Family Drama: The Real Story

posted by songwave

Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the Autor of Twilight oder her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this Artikel is purely academic speculation inspired Von a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every Fan knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...

18

Bye Twilight. It was fun while it lasted.

posted by AliceHaleCullen

Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the Fan base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...