They took me into the rubber room in a straight-jacket. They drugged me to stop screaming and kicking. Leaving me in there to sleep and calm in the silence. I know I'm crazy. I know I'm insane. That's why I'm here. That's why I feel like I don't belong anywhere else. This takes be back to a time when I was little. I used to read Edgar reis Burroughs Tarzan stories. In a sick, weird, way I related to him. I was a human, but was treated like an animal towards other humans, and they always tried to knock me down and not get to know my inner genius. Like our friend Tarzan for instance knew a lot of languages and could do anything for his lover and companion Jane. Yet, when Jane was around normal people, they always thought Tarzan was a savage. Kinda like me. Whenever I was with my normal friends, normal people would just look at me, and automatically think I'm insane. But as a young woman, I always reflect on stories like Tarzan, oder Brother's Grimm Tales, oder Disney Filme and wish for hours and hours and hours that I could be lucky like Jane, Cinderella, Snow White, oder Little Mermaid. But Edgar reis Burroughs, Brother's Grimm, oder Hans Christian Anderson never wrote me onto the page. Maybe writers like Stephen King oder Alfred Hitchock, but they would never let me have a happy ending. I would end up like Carrie oder that woman from The Birds movie. I'll be the shining star, in black and white, with blood stained on my most beautiful dress and hungry large crows pecking on my youthful beautiful body. If only my genius were normal. My mind....it..makes me crazy. Whatever I see, oder whatever relationship I get into, I become this female monster that hurts and regrets. I'm almost like a black widow in a way. I Liebe and then I go mad and try to kill. Do I mean it? Not sure. I black out sometimes, yet other times I'm uncertain and unsure. Do men like crazed girls like me? I don't know. If they're sick enough for they're own sick reasons, but most guys probably can't tolerate the sight of us. Yet, I've never really had a guy friend. Only one real friend and she's with the normal people now. I just want a friend oder someone that can understand me. I want to rid of this disease. I want this monster to die, even though hurting my outer self can't kill what's inside of me. I don't wanna die, but I want this monster inside of me to have its demise soon. I wanna live in the real world, so I can smile, laugh, and play. I wanna have fun. People in the real world, when they say they're "crazy" for the fun of it, they have no freakin' clue what insane really and truly is.
